The Attraction Tsunami

It happens every couple of months when you least expect it. The huge, deadly wave.

The Attraction Tsunami: n. When five+ members of the opposite sex hit on you, compliment you, talk to you, or give you any romantic or sexual attention within a small amount of time.

Those who look like a wannabe Playboy model slash semi-cheap, fake-chested stripper get this attention around the clock for obvious reasons. For those of us who look apart of the Susan Boyle blood line, this tsunami is of utmost importance and must be taken advantage of while it lasts. Because when the tsunami is over, all that’s left is a significantly less amount of people (like, zero) and even less amount of self-esteem (like, less than zero).

I’m 99% sure everyone has experienced the gigantic wave of confidence and decent-looking suitors willing to bow down to us that happens once in a blue moon. The magic spell lasts about two weeks. Once the hype dies down, then life goes back to undesirably normal. Kind of like the McRib.

So why does this tsunami occur?

While I’m no biologically-specialized analyst, here’s my rationale, in kindergarten summation: The hideous creations of God and myself get so used to being distasteful to the human eye that we simply cease (for lack of a better phrase) giving a fuck. People like other people who don’t give a fuck because people who don’t give a fuck have confidence. And people love confident people. They eat it up, hoping the confidence will rub off on them. Because everyone is insecure sometimes, even the wannabe Playboy model slash semi-cheap, fake-chested strippers. While this goes on, others notice how wanted you are, and people want what other people want. It’s human nature.

Before you know it, there’s two hot guys from your Intro to Business class texting you, one not-so-attractive guy you used to know messaging you on Facebook, two gorgeous guys you’ve never met liking and commenting on everything within your social media, one guy you’ve been friends with for a while asking you out on a date, three average-looking guys asking for your number, and that one “whatever” guy constantly texting, calling, stalking, and snapchatting you who’s always been in love with you and you can’t really put your finger on why.

A couple of weeks later, you come up from under the water and all you can hear is crickets chirping–the theme song for misery and loneliness.

Moral of the story: Enjoy it while it lasts.

Featured image (c) digitalphotopix.com